The use of derogatory names to
children from other children is something that always surprises me. I always
seem to be caught off guard when a five-year-old uses “gay” or “fag” to another
five-year-old, without even knowing what those words mean. The child that is
being spoken too knows just by the context that the word is used that it is not
a nice thing to say even if they do not understand just how disrespectful the
word may be. At this point, the child will almost always come tell me, the
teacher, and want help resolving the issue.
Many times as a child I was called
a “tomboy.” I did not wear dresses, I detested the color pink (I still do not
wear it), I enjoyed playing in the dirt, and I played sports. For some reason,
this made me less of a girl in the eyes of both boys and girls my age. At times
I took it as a compliment, it seemed that boys used it when I was faster than
them at a race. Other times, I could tell when it was really used to try to
hurt me, and it definitely did. I know there were times when I was younger that
I wanted to do more “girly” things but just was not as happy with them and
ultimately reverted back to the activities that I truly enjoyed. I felt embarrassed
and upset that I was not accepted for just being myself.
While watching children’s
television shows and reading children’s books one things that I notice is that
the parents of children are always in a heterosexual relationship. Sometimes
there will be single parents but if the parents are together, it is always a
man and a woman. This really makes me wonder how children with different family
dynamics feel about never seeing their family reflected on television or in
books.
HI Robin,
ReplyDeleteI actually thought that at the end of your blog, you were going to note how media has started to represent gay families. It may not be as much as some individuals like, but I can think of two tv shows (Grey's Anatomy and Modern Family) that have gay families in their shows. What I appreciate about these shows is that the parents are intelligent, funny and most importantly loving parents to their children. The shows also demonstrate that they have the same parenting questions as heterosexual families and strive to do the best by their children.
Now, these may not be shows that appeal to everyone, but I welcome the fact that the shows do "not" focus on the couples being gay, rather they focus on them being loving parents who are part of larger families and larger communities. In other words, they focus on similarities between heterosexual and gay families. For me, this is important because it is the similarities that help to develop relationships that allow for us to accept our differences.
Nice blog, Robin. I personally have to work on myself intrinsically in being more accepting of same-sex family dynamics on television and in media in the face of children. I'm one of those people that is an ally for safe spaces for all and equal opportunity but that children ahould not be exposed to certain subjecta or conversations until the parent introduces that. However, by doing this and pretending theae family unita do not exist, it aids in the persistence of the very problem I try to combat. As educators, I feel it is important we tackle our own biases first before we can teach children tolerance and it starts with me changing my perspective in this regard.
ReplyDeleteRobin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your blog 100%. Often times we as a society put emphasis on who should do play what roles, and this makes it hard for anyone to feel welcome in society. For example, in my three year old class there are boys who love to go to housekeeping, and in order to enforce the fact boys are as welcome as girls in housekeeping, I allow them to go. The same roles that girls do boys can too and vice versa.